Hi everyone and welcome back to my blog. We’re meeting again for the first article of the month, and I hope you guys will enjoy this one.
Months ago, I saw a video of an artist, Chloe Bailey who was talking about “Imposter Syndrome” in an interview with Drew Barrymore ,and right after that I saw a poster of this podcast that I often listen to “Executive talk with Marc Alain and Carel” and the topic for the next episode was about the same subject. Since it is something that I relate to, I knew right away that this was a sign and that it should be my next topic on the blog. That is when I started writing this article, which stayed in my drafts for months (lol).
So today, we are going to talk about the “Imposter Syndrome” and as usual, before we get into this subject, we will define the term we are using.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
“Imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like “a fraud” or “a phony” and doubting their abilities.”
Growing up in the Haitian culture, I believe a high percentage of children, especially those with older siblings, have experienced even once in their life the Imposter syndrome. It is really common for the youngest to be compared to the oldest, especially when they are excelling at something. These ongoing comparisons can create a sense of low self-esteem making the individual feel like they constantly need to measure up to their elders’ achievements. Once this happens, they start developing a lot of signs that can be attributed to “Imposter Syndrome.”
Imposter Syndrome is this constant self-doubt feeling that makes us ask ourselves “Why me…?” We can’t shake this feeling of not belonging, despite evidence of competence. It’s like we’re somehow unworthy of the success or praise we receive. It’s as if we’re walking around with a persistent voice in our heads telling us that we’re just pretending, and sooner or later, everyone will figure it out.
What are the signs?
- Perfectionism: People experiencing Imposter Syndrome often feel like one day someone will discover that they aren’t as good as people think. The fear of being exposed as a fraud can be so overwhelming that individuals seek to attain perfection in everything they do. It’s like they’re on a never-ending quest to prove to themselves and that obsession is fueled by the idea that any sign of imperfection will confirm their fraudulent status.
- Attributing success to luck: That feeling of low self-esteem makes people downplay all their achievements, even though they know how much sweat and tears they shed in the process. Rather than acknowledging how good they are, they prefer to attribute their success to “luck”.
- Difficulty to accept praise: Like I just said, by believing that others are better than them, they find it extremely difficult to accept compliments or any type of positive feedback. It makes them wonder if they genuinely deserve praise. To cope, they often deflect or try to diminish their accomplishments because they believe that they don’t deserve it.
- Fear of failure: That constant fear of being exposed also makes them work twice as hard because they are afraid of the embarrassment that will come when people realize they are not as good as they think. They would rather say no to new challenges just because they might have to get out of their comfort zone, and they believe that it could lead them to failure.
- Self-sabotage: One thing I personally struggle with is the fear of speaking up in situations where I have the knowledge or a good idea to contribute. For example, when I was in school, teachers would often ask questions I often had the answers to, but I would purposely stay silent because I didn’t believe in myself and was afraid that I would say something dumb. A similar scenario can occur in a workplace where you could have an awesome idea, but you hesitate to share it, due to the subconscious belief that you’re not intelligent enough and might make a mistake.
- Seeking validation: People with Imposter Syndrome are similar to those whose primary love language is “words of affirmation.” They often crave validation, although they find it challenging to fully accept praise. They want others to affirm that they are good at something with the hope that external validation will eventually help them believe in their own capabilities. Seeking these affirmations becomes a coping mechanism to alleviate the impact of their self-doubt and anxiety.
I remember back in my senior year of high school, I faced the crucial decision about choosing which colleges to apply to and what career path to pursue. The first thing that came to my mind was the title that would be associated with my degree. My oldest brother was already an IT engineer, the 2nd one an architect, the 3rd, a doctor. In my mind, I felt the pressure to measure up to their accomplishments, fearing that I would be seen as a failure otherwise. Ultimately, I chose a career that doesn’t come with a conventional title. Despite excelling in what I do, sometimes there are days where I can’t shake the nagging feeling that perhaps I haven’t faced enough challenges to prove my worth.
As simple as it may seem, Imposter Syndrome is a world of contradiction. It is a complex paradox. As you can see from the symptoms I listed, there are days where you have difficulty accepting that you are worthy of anything and there are days where all you want is that validation from people around you. When facing that issue, the first step is acknowledging that you’re experiencing it.
Like Chloe said in her video, “We owe it to ourselves; we have to give ourselves flowers before we expect anybody else to…” Without that confidence, we will always struggle with Imposter Syndrome. It’s essential to recognize that each of us has something unique and valuable to offer to the world. If you’ve made it this far, it’s not by chance; it’s because you possess talents, skills, and qualities that have earned you your place.
Embracing your worth and believing in your abilities is the key to unlocking your full potential. So, take a moment to acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small they may seem, and remind yourself that you are deserving of success and recognition. Celebrate each milestone and allow others to celebrate you as well. By shifting your mindset and embracing self-confidence, you can break free from the grip of Imposter Syndrome and pursue your goals with newfound determination and belief in yourself.
That’s all I have for today. I really hope this article was this little boost of confidence that you needed as you navigate the final months of this year. Until we meet again, stay safe and be blessed…always!!!