Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog. This year is already going by so fast, and I hope that in the meantime you are working toward reaching the goals you have set at the beginning of the year.
Recently, I was talking to someone, and at one point during the conversation I started getting really annoyed because I felt like the person wasn’t really listening to me. To me, it felt like they were only silent for a few seconds just so they could have their turn to speak, but in reality, they weren’t really understanding. Later, as I was replaying the conversation, I realized that I often do the same too (way too often). Sometimes in the middle of a conversation, we can be so focused to give a reply and make our point, that we miss the most important parts of it ; which is why I think “Hearing” and “Listening” are two distinctive things.
Hearing vs Listening
- Hearing is an accidental and automatic brain response to sound that requires no effort.
- Listening , at its best, is active, focused, concentrated attention for the purpose of understanding the meanings expressed by a speaker.1
In other and simpler words, we hear because we don’t have a choice, but we listen because we want to. While both words have the same purpose, listening requires that we pay attention to what is being said so we can understand, and later express ourselves as well.
There are multiple reasons why one could be distracted in a conversation : lack of interest, mental preoccupation, the ambiance, etc… When that happens, our mind definitely shifts to another place, and we may find ourselves thinking about other things during the conversation and not really listening to the speaker.
I noted several signs that indicate someone is not truly listening :
- Constantly interrupting : One of the clear signs that someone may not be truly listening is their tendency to constantly interrupt. During a conversation, if the other person keeps interrupting, it simply means that they aren’t really listening. They are more eager to express their own thoughts and opinion on the matter, rather than actively listening to what we are saying.
- Refusing to maintain eye contact : Eye contact is often seen as a sign of attentiveness and respect in communication. When someone avoids eye contact, it can suggest disinterest, discomfort, or a lack of connection with the speaker. But, there are some exceptions of the rule. For example, I am one of those people who purposely avoids eye contact during conversation, not because I am not listening but mostly because I am really shy.
- Misinterpreting information : Misinterpreting information shared during a conversation is another red flag that someone may not be listening attentively. When a person consistently misunderstands key points or details shared during a conversation, it suggests that they are not processing the information carefully or paying close attention to the speaker’s words. This can lead not only to confusion but also frustration.
- Being on a defensive mode : When we get defensive in conversations, it usually means we’re more concerned about sticking to our own views or beliefs instead of being open to understanding where others are coming from. This tends to pop up a lot during arguments, especially when someone is trying to explain why they did something.
In the end, cultivating the art of active listening can profoundly transform the way we engage with others and navigate through our conversations. By recognizing some of the signs of poor listening habits, we can begin to break free from these barriers and truly connect with those around us. I read somewhere that every time we close our mouths to listen, we learn something new. So from now on, I will try to prioritize listening over speaking during my interaction with others, and I hope you guys will join me too.
That’s all I have for today. I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. Until we meet again, stay safe and be blessed…always!!!