Hello beautiful peopleđ. Some of you have been asking for another topic and well since we’re on Carnival break this weekend, I am taking a little time to address another subject. If you haven’t read my other posts yet, make sure to scroll down đđž. If you are new on my page, welcome, I am happy you’re visiting this page and I hope you’ll like my posts.
Today we are talking about Self Love and Self confidenceâ¨â¨. Iâve started this journey a while ago and it has done so much for me that words cannot even describe. Therefore, I decided to talk about my experience and share with you how it all started. Hopefully it can inspire you to start your journey as well if you havenât already.
How it all started.- So like I said in my last article, few years ago, I had lost my two best friends. That year was one of the darkest years of my life. I needed them to get through it and they both left around the same time. I love my friends with my whole heart and anything, as small as it could seem, can hurt me. So yeah after our fights I started doubting myself. I thought that everything was my fault. I was already not in a positive state of mind and this whole situation crushed me. For months I’d blamed myself and looking back at it now, it was hurting me more than I initially thought. Although I had other friends who loved me and cared about me, I really thought I was alone and I was really missing these two. Everyone kept on saying things like “friends come and go” “they weren’t in your life to stay ” “they taught you a lesson” “life goes on” …. and each one pissed me off more than the other. After a few sleepless nights and a lot of tears, I have finally decided to let go and that’s when my journey began đ.
“Self love begins when we observe our actions and words with compassion as if we were our own best friend.” .-Sarah M. Bosworth
Step 1. The first thing I did in the process of letting go was apologizingđđž. I spoke to some of my friends and told them that I would text both of them (my best friends) and I would apologize. Most of my friends weren’t having it. They did not agree and told me to just give up and move on. I couldn’t…. Growing up my mom always told me to apologize to my friends even when it’s not my fault. I don’t know why but I took this advice to the heart and whenever there would be an issue with my friends or whenever we would stop talking I would apologize and everything would always work out in the endđ¤. So I went for it. Spent a few days writing a note on what I would say and how I’d address the situation. One night, I decided to text them, I apologized and told them that I am letting go and that if we’re ending the friendship now I hope that we don’t go separate ways with hate in our hearts. Thankfully it went well. They understood and apologized too. We didn’t talk afterwards but since then I’ve been feeling better and it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Step 2. This step was about discovering the few tips that I shared in my last post. I reviewed everything that happened and noted what went wrong in the friendships. One thing that I realized that made me start the journey was the fact that I gave my friends too much power over me. What I mean by that is that my happiness depended on others. It’s like I had put my happiness in their hands and that’s why every little thing bothered me. I finally understood that I was the only person responsible of my emotions and my feelings. I couldn’t really love myself when I was emotionally depending on others and I also couldn’t make them love me if I didn’t love myself first.
Step 3. On step three, I went online and searched for the definition of self love. Based on the definitions that I’ve gathered, I finally understood that self love is not just a simple term, it is not only a state of feeling good. Like today I look good and I’m happy and confident and then tomorrow I go back to my sorrows, to finding every single thing about me that I do not like. Self love is more like a special attention we give to our own happiness or well being on a daily basis. Which means that self love is understanding that you are worthy and you deserve to be loved and to be happy. For some people it comes naturally which wasn’t my case. For me it was more like a whole process of knowing who I am, accepting my flaws and weaknesses and knowing my worth. Self love came with a lot of things I decided to work on in order to finally begin to accept and love myself more. Later, I discovered that self love comes with self confidence. Once you start loving yourself , being confident comes naturally. Self confidence comes with the idea of trusting and believing in yourself .
Step 4. I used to spend a lot of time on social media and when I started this journey I did what you can call a social media detox. I did not tweet for about 9 months. I was always there but I didn’t tweet or post. I had also lost my phone during the process so it was like a good thing for me. The social media detox helped me deal with the loneliness I was feeling. I focused on myself and my growth rather than watching people being mean to others.
Step 5. The last thing I did in my journey was trusting GOD. I’m a believer and I always try to put GOD in the center of all projects. Once I started loving myself, I just left the rest to God. I prayed and asked him to guide me through this entire process. God always listens and if he doesn’t react instantly trust me it’s because you aren’t ready yet for what you are asking. With loving myself and being confident I knew I would accomplish great things and I needed God to be by my side every step of the way.
Now that I’ve shared with you the few steps I tried to follow in order to become more confident and to love myself even more, I will share with you guys the outcomes.
- Maturity. This whole process made me become more mature. Nowadays, I would think twice before doing something or before saying some things. I used to think that I was mature, looking back I don’t think I even knew the right definition of maturity back then. I feel like the whole reason why I couldn’t handle well the separation with my old friends was because I was acting like a whole baby. Now everything is more clear.
- Accomplishments. With being confident you can accomplish anything your heart desires. Like I said in my first post about grades, you are worthy, you can do it if you believe in yourself. I used to get great grades but during this process I scored the highest grade ever since I’ve join college ( a 89.7%). Last month, I signed up for a school’s program. There was an exam and about 100 people from all the Universities in the country signed up for it. 9 people passed the exam and I was one of them. I could not believe it at first but then I’m like I am intelligent, I am worthy and I can do anything. I’m not cocky but I am proud and at the end of the day that’s all that mattersđâ¤
- Happiness. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am today. I’m happy with myself, I am happy with everything I have done and I’m happy to be where I am today, emotionally and mentally . My happiness no longer comes from others but it comes from within. I am the foundation of my happiness.
- Less stress and anxiety. When you don’t really love yourself you tend to doubt yourself and you’re always scared of failing and being rejected. This situation only brings stress and anxiety. I think that’s what happened in my past friendships. I always thought I was the last option and that my friends didn’t trust me or love me like they loved their other friends. But once I realized my worth, I’m no longer scared of rejection because I know who I am and I consider myself as a priority. When you love yourself, you’re not stressed about the difficulties that life brings you because you know you can conquer everything.
- Attractiveness. To be honest guys I feel like I am really beautiful now and like nothing cannot stop me. I also feel like people notice my glow up. I’m not only beautiful on the outside but I also feel like I’m beautiful on the inside as well. Although I appreciate the compliments, I no longer need somebody’s approval or I don’t need to hear it from someone to believe it. I read somewhere that when you care about what others think of you, you will never be free to completely feel like yourself and I think that was my problem years ago.
Guys I’m not a psychologist, this was my experience in the journey of self love and self confidence. The whole process is like a flower, you need to water it from time to time so it can grow. I am not stopping now; the road is still long. I’m still learning and growing. Also, it’s IMPORTANT to know and to understand that loving yourself doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a narcissist and it really doesn’t mean that you have to be cocky or arrogant. I think being cocky means that you don’t really know your worth, you’re just forcing people to see you and to accept you. If you really love yourself you’ll see life differently and you’ll have fun helping others; so arrogance doesn’t really fit in this process.
So guys this was our topic for todayđ. I really hope y’all enjoyed it and learned something from it. Keep in mind that this was my experience and it’s unique but the outcomes and the benefits can be general. Thank you for stopping by, I truly appreciate it. See yall very soon. Stay safe and Be blessed. Alwaysđ