Hello everyone! Welcome back to Karo’s little corner🌻🌼. I know I said that I wouldn’t write another article in like two weeks but unfortunately we’re on lockdown due to the COVID-19. I hope all of y’all are doing great. Please be safe, wash your hands and stay inside. Today I’m going to talk about #LOVE but particularly love within my generation. I’ve been watching a lot of series (Love Island, Love is blind, Flirty dancing….) and I just want to share my thoughts on this subject. If you are new to my page, welcome!! Please click on the menu to find my other articles. To my old followers, I love you guys and thank you for always supporting me. I hope I make y’all proud ❤❤🏆
So where do I begin💭?? I don’t know much about love but based on my parent’s experience I can say why I believe in love🙂. My parents have been together (married life) for 37 years THIRTY SEVEN YEARS and not once have I seen them fight. They have arguments for sure but my dad had never slept in the living room. They can’t live without each other. My dad met my mom at a driving school where she used to work at. According to him, it was love at first sight. When they finally spoke, he told my mom that he would marry her on January 1st, the following year and he did😭❤. They had 4 amazing kids and now 5 grandkids. Their love is so pure, it’s annoying sometimes lol….
What is love❤? To me, love has no particular definition. If I were to describe it in three words, I would say that love is caring, forgiving and sacrifice… Love is what gives our life meaning. It’s like a rainbow in a dark and cloudy sky🌈🌫….. When you love someone, you become one with that person🤗. Their happiness is your happiness. Their worry is your worry. If you love someone and their happiness isn’t one of your priorities, you need to rethink your definition of love. Love also brings a sort of happiness that words can’t even describe. Love hit us hard, you can just feel it and experience it but you won’t be able to put it into words.
Do I believe in true love? Yes absolutely! Do I believe in true love within my generation? Absolutely not!
I’m a late 90’s baby (97 to be precise) and I’m a little skeptical when it comes to believing in true love within my generation😩. I’m not a pessimist but a realist. Y’all can say that I’m old school or whatever but nowadays I feel like we don’t really “love” people🤷🏽♀️. We are losing this ability of being in love and it’s truly sad. This is why we have a new status called Situationship. To those of you who don’t know what it is , a situationship is a relationship that has no label on it.. like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship (urban dictionary). It’s like a new status between being together and not being together. Huh?🤯.
Here are a few reasons why I think that true love doesn’t exist in my generation.
Ps: These reasons come from my experience and my opinion. You may not agree or relate and that’s okay. I’d be glad to hear/ read your opinion too. If you feel offended by what I’m about to say, I’m truly sorry. I do believe that some of the relationships are pure and real and I applaud these couples. Don’t get me wrong, I love my generation but we have a lot of things to fix. I say “we” because I’m also part of the generation and I can relate to those reasons.
Reason #1 : Like I mentioned previously, we don’t really “love” people. We just love the idea of being in a couple or we like the idea of someone🙌🏾🙌🏾. For example, we might see someone attractive and that person is popular and we think “Oh X and I would make a cute couple” just because y’all want to show off. We date just to have “fun” or because we think that single life is boring. I’m not saying that the previous generations haven’t done it but I think it’s more common in mine. Sometimes you meet a couple and by talking to them, you realize that they don’t really know much about each other🤦🏾♀️but hey we’re not here to judge but to state facts.
Reason #2 : We have normalized the idea of cheating🤔. Cheating has become so normalized in society that I wonder if the definition I have for it is correct. Nowadays, all you see on social media is people openly talking about their cheating experience or creating memes about cheating and it’s funny to everyone. A lot of boys and girls in my generation are suffering from depression. Being cheated on has a lot of effects on someone’s mental health. It can crush your sense of self worth. When you really love someone and they cheat on you, the first question you’ll ask yourself is why wasn’t I enough? You’ll then start to question your worth… I don’t understand the concept of “main and side chick“. I remember one time there was a debate on a group chat and my friends were debating on whether or not it’s better to be a side or a main. Like I said, being a Sagittarius, I have strong opinions about things. I don’t always talk about them but they’re in the back of my head lol. So I asked them why would they want to be a main or a side and not being the ONLY chick and one of them told me that I’m way too childish, I won’t understand. That’s when I knew that maybe my mind and my soul don’t belong to this generation🤣🤣 like I’m just here physically and my mind is stuck elsewhere.
Reason #3 : We don’t know how to communicate🗣🗣. Remember in my article where I shared tips about friendship, I said that you need to practice communication skills with your friend/partner or even at work. I think it’s one of the biggest problems in our generation. We don’t know how to put our thoughts into words and we also lack of creativity. You could be talking to someone and every two minutes they’d ask you “wyd” (what are you doing). Like really? That’s ALL you want to know about me?(It’s a huge turn off btw). Meanwhile our parents used to send letters to each other; paragraphs on how grateful they are to be together. I love to talk, my friends can testify that. Which is one of the reasons I created this blog, I love to write/talk, share my opinion. Sometimes when you try to express your feelings, it might take one or two paragraphs to which they might just reply with one word msgs like “K” “Ok” “Lol” “Ayt” or in some cases, if you’re lucky, they can give you a bonus of three words “Ayt, do you” and boyyy this makes me so mad😡😡. Without communication your relationship is a whole mess, toxicity is flying everywhere🌪. Communication helps you understand better what’s needed to be changed or to be fixed. Communication makes a relationship healthy. Like our body needs water but alongside water, we need food or nutriments to stay alive. It’s the same for a relationship; firstly we need love (water) and then communication (as one of the nutriments) so it can stay alive.
Reason # 4 : We sleep around a LOT🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. I know that some of you will say that our grandparents’ generation (Haitian edition) did it worse. Well that can be true when we look back at their procreation but what can also be true is that they didn’t have the multiple contraception methods or protection methods that we do have now (there are at least 15) . It was like after each one night stand, boom 💥⚡a baby👶🏾. They also didn’t have anything to do besides work. Meanwhile we have social media, netflix, concert and all those things. To be honest, I feel like if we put our generation in our grandparents’ era, we would have twice the number of children they had if not more😂😂. Sorry not sorry. Y’all are in relationships, yet you’re out there having fun with multiple women/men on the side. Imagine if each of them got pregnant or if you got pregnant from your little non official adventures🤭.
Reason #5 : We do everything upside down😂😂. Nan bon kreyòl nou alanvè, nou tèt anba (creole translation). We don’t fall in love, then get in relationships; we get in relationships and then we try to fall in love. I don’t even think I can explain this. But most of the time we talk for a while because we obviously had a physical attraction towards each other and we think it’s enough and the next thing you know we’re together. Once that happens, we try to fall in love and it doesn’t work out in most cases. It’s like we only care about the “girlfriend/boyfriend” title and that’s it.
Reason #6 : We don’t believe in commitments or maybe we just don’t know what it is. Based on the definition that I have found, commitment is an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action⛔. When you’re committed to someone you vow to be loyal to that person and you know that you have to treat that person with respect. This commitment is sealed by what we can call the status or the title. Our fear of commitment is the main reason why we created this situationship title. We just want to have fun without actually being called a couple. Without commitment , there’s no such thing as real love.
Reason #7 : We focus more on looks rather than personality🧒🏾👩🏾. My generation is pretty much invested in social media. What we see on social media is often different than reality itself⚠️. When we fall “in love” with someone on s.m, we fall in love with what we see, the physical aspects and then once we meet them in real life, we realize that they’re different (sometimes) than what’s being portrayed on their page. That’s why I think that Love is blind is an amazing experiment. It helps people realize that look isn’t everything. You need to take in consideration the soul of the other person. Once you fall in love with the personality, physical aspects such as beauty, race… won’t really matter. I know looks are important but it’s not all. Will that person be able to cheer you up when you’re down? Will that person be respectful towards you or your family?….
Reason #8 : What about the future?✨🎇🎆 We date just to “date”. We don’t necessarily look into the future. I am obsessed with planning. Whether it’s at school or in real life, I’m always planning. I like to make rational decision while taking the future in consideration. I am single as a dollar but believe it or not I got a whole folder of wedding dresses, decorations, house designs, kid’s names….The moment I start liking someone, I start to think about the long term, the future. I think about marriage, about kids’ names etc…. I try to visualize how we’ll be in 5 years. I also try to see if the person’s last name would sound good next to mine lol… You might think I’m crazy but I think that after a while you need to slow down and start thinking about life. What’s the point of being in a couple, besides to have fun, if you don’t see a future with that person? One time a teacher told us that he had asked for a divorce after 3 days of being married. Why? Because he only married the girl because she was a Christian and she didn’t want to have sex without being married. So they got married, he got what he wanted and left🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. I know not all of us believe in marriage nor want to get married. I respect your decision but to those of you who want a marriage and who are in a couple ask yourself :”Do I really want to spend my ENTIRE life with him/her?“
Reason #9 : We don’t know the difference between love and lust🧐. Let me make it clear to you guys. Love and lust are two different concepts. While love is the feeling of caring for someone while being affectionate and making that person a priority🤗, lust on the other side is a DESIRE, a SEXUAL desire😍. Sometimes you are sexually attracted to someone and it’s so intense that it makes you think that you’re in love and once you’ve satisfied that craving, you realize that you cannot stand that person you once thought was your world🤡. When you’re in love, you know that your partner isn’t perfect yet you manage to accept them with their flaws🙌🏾 meanwhile if you’re in lust, you think that the person is perfect, flawless… When it’s lust you’ll find yourselves always talking about thing related to one subject only, when it’s love you can spend hours talking about anything and everything❤.
Reason #10 : We are afraid to show real feelings✨✨. I do not know the reason behind this but I feel like most of us keep our feelings to ourselves and just go with the flow. I don’t know if it’s because of a situation in the past. We’ve become really egocentric, we refuse to apologize and show our emotions. Maybe it’s because we think that we always have to be strong (mostly guys). It is okay to be vulnerable, if you’ve been hurt it’s okay to talk about it🤗🤗. Acting like we don’t care make us miss and lose the best things in life and as they say, you only know the worth of something when you’ve lost it. Your ego makes you think about yourself only, about your needs. A couple is made of two people. To make it work, both parties have to participate, if not, well the relationship will slowly fall apart.
At the end of the day, #YOLO. My generation don’t really care about anything, we’re just having fun. I am not sure if #YOLO is still a thing but it’s my generation’s motto. You only live once, therefore we’re allowed to just have fun and live without regrets. We don’t take anything too seriously. This mentality makes us believe that in life, things come easy. Like you’re in a relationship and that’s it. There’s nothing you should do to make it work. Fairytale endings do exist but not like we see it in Disney’s movies. In order to have a fairytale ending, you need to try to make things work. Don’t be careless when it comes to expressing feelings, be open, don’t be so quick on giving up, love with all your heart❤. You’ll get hurt eventually💔 but that’s what makes us stronger💪🏾. It’s a part of life. We’re still young to be having fun and not settle but you need to take a minute and just think about the future, about what you really want in life.
That’s a wrap for today guys. Thanks again for reading. Hopefully y’all don’t revoke my generation card😂. If you’re in a relationship and this article have particularly touched you in some ways, then you’ll know what you need to work on. I hope one day I’ll meet someone who’ll make me believe in true love again and I’ll for sure be telling you guys about it but until then, be safe and be blessed!!! Always! Xoxo😘😘❤. See y’all next time.