Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog. It’s the end of chapter 11 of 12. This year is finally coming to an end. I hope everyone is feeling good and that the month of November was a good one.
Today, I’m diving into a topic that’s been on my mind, something we all encounter but might not give enough thought to. I wanna talk about our society, especially a culture that I believe it’s high time we learn to let go of. Ever notice how often we throw around phrases like : “Ou gra kou chat kay pè” “Li zo, ou ta di yon bwa bale” “Men w pa ale ak bouch ou non” “Pye w tankou 2 bagèt legede” “Ou gra tankou vòlò” “Ou won tankou lalin” “Ou chèch tankou tako” “Ou mèg tankou bwa pitimi” “Ou gwo tankou mapotcho”… A bunch of common phrases that are deeply rooted in body shaming, whether we agree or not.
What is body shaming?
“Body shaming involves humiliating someone by making inappropriate or negative comments about their body size or shape.” Basically, body shaming is the act of making negative comments about someone’s weight in a passive-aggressive way.
In the Haitian society, we often rely on “jokes” to express our feelings towards other people. Whether it’s about their weight, skin color, hair type, dental structure… there are so many common phrases that exist in our languages with the only intent of expressing unsolicited feelings about someone’s appearance.
8 years ago, I started losing a lot of weight, dropping from 120 lbs to 99 lbs. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was getting skinnier by the minute. Every encounter with others seemed to come with comments about my size, leaving me perplexed and uncomfortable. People kept on mentioning my size and me being unaware of my weight loss at the time, I never understood why. Later, I found out I was really sick and needed to urgently get a treatment. My health condition crushed me both physically and mentally, and having people remind me every single day that I was sick by mentioning my weight, didn’t help.
A year later, I finished with my treatment and went back to school. However, the medications I was taking resulted in significant weight gain, and once again, people started making comments about my size. At this point, I figured that no matter what I do, no matter my size, people will still talk and I have no power over it.
Considering all of this, I want to share some reasons, amongst plenty of others, why it’s never okay to mention somebody’s weight :
1. Somebody’s weight gain/loss can be associated with health issues. Just like in my experience, we are often too quick to point out something about somebody else without knowing all the facts. We don’t know what people are going through in their life, making comments about their weight serves as a reminder that they have a medical condition that can either be cured or not.
2. Unsolicited comments about someone’s weight can affect their mental health. Some of us are battling with low self esteem and confidence. We are often self-conscious about how we look, how big our belly looks, how flat our behind is, how we don’t have a “coca bottle” shape … the last thing we need is for someone to highlight those insecurities.
3. It can contribute to physical harm. Body shaming, even in the form of seemingly harmless comments and jokes, can have tangible consequences on someone’s physical health. The thing is, when we face those judgments, we don’t always look for the healthier practice to change our appearance, such as going to the gym or exercise daily. We are so pressured to conform ourselves to societal beauty standards that it might drive us to engage in unhealthy practices such as extreme dieting, over-exercising, or using potentially harmful weight-loss supplements.
4. It can affect relationships. Body shaming doesn’t only affect the person who is being targeted, but it can also have a lingering impact on the relationship between the one who makes the comment and the victim. When people make such comments, it creates a perception of them and the relationship we have with them, which promotes an environment where we feel judged and misunderstood.
Body shaming is so heavily present in our society that we don’t even realize how toxic it is. It doesn’t only come from strangers ; most of the times it comes from parents and family members. Often they are “only joking” but the lingering impacts of those jokes is not talked about enough. We grew up in a society where it is completely okay to shame others for their body parts and the worst of it all, is that we learn to accept those comments because otherwise we will be considered as too weak or oversensitive. Most parents don’t teach their children not to make fun of others because of how they look, but instead they teach them to be resilient and to find a comeback whenever they face such comments.
The comments hurt even more when they come from someone we love or care about. It’s a serious issue in our culture and it is about time we start talking about it. I recently heard someone say that our society needs to be rebuilt and I honestly think so. No one should live in a society and feel like no matter how they look, they will be judged regardless. In order to foster a culture of acceptance, kindness and understanding, we need to recognize the impact of our words and actions on others. By refraining from making unsolicited comments and jokes about someone’s weight, we can help create a more compassionate and supportive community where we can all thrive without the burden of judgment and societal pressures. I hope I can participate in a movement of cultivating Body-Positivity in our society, one article at a time.
Before I finish, I want to emphasize that the goal of this article is not to dismiss the importance of a healthy lifestyle. It’s entirely acceptable and even encouraged for individuals to engage in regular exercise, at least twice a week. However, what I firmly oppose to is the notion of embarking on a weight gain or weight loss journey solely to conform to societal expectations. I am using my voice in this article, only to shed light on the issue of body shaming in Haiti, by addressing the harmful practice of judging and making fun of others based on their size.
That’s all I have for today guys. I hope my article was resourceful. Don’t forget to share it with your friends and family. Until we meet again, stay safe and be blessed… always!!!